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Home My Blog New Years Resolutions (Humorous)

New Years Resolutions (Humorous)

By author, D.J. Derrick An Ambassador of Christ

It’s nice to make annual New Year resolutions although we may not keep them. So here’s 10 I put together on the humorous side.

This one is from Mark Twain…

“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” Mark Twain

(Now I’m not married and lost my eye sight, but I thought the following were funny.)

  • I will stop sending e-mails to my wife.
  • I will think of a password other than “password” or “hello”.
  • I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  • I will play more computer games. Scientists say they’re good for me and improve my visual skill.
  • I will regularly wash my underwear.
  • I will watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.
  • I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week.
  • I will stop exercising, because it is such a waste of time.
  • To save gas I’ll trad3 in my Cadillac for a Moped.
  • To save water I’ll limit my showers to 2 a month.

That’s enough on the comical resolutions, to all: Happy New Year and may it be prosperous!

Next, I’ll post my New Years Resolutions that I aspire to.

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